Google wants to be in your closet

Let me borrow that top.

Nov 20, 2010 by

In a recent internal S|A poll regarding colleague views of the Internet’s true purpose, the top 5 responses confirmed what we all knew, all along:  5. LOL Cats, 4. Pr0n, 3. Trolling, 2. Pr0n, 1. Pr0n.  Well, after sharing our findings with the big G, Google’s crack squad of basement dwellers wrote an algorithm to try and work their way to the podium of our Internets, and the result, is like totally awesome, if you’re a teenage girl with daddy’s credit card.

Boutiques.com is its name, and it’s more or less eHarmony for your wardrobe.  You take a “style quiz” to get started, in which you compare two photos of clothing styles and choose your favorite of the pair,  (Only halfway through did I realize I was supposed to be rating the clothes… not the women). From there, Google’s servers spider into your soul and extract what they know to be true (but perhaps you don’t yet) about your apparel styling desires.  In essence it builds a custom online clothing store based on your responses.  The best(?) part of it is, you can browse other people’s boutiques, and tell them how much you like or dislike their outcome of poor life decisions and countless CPU cycles.

Intrigued? Here is a quick quiz you can take to determine if Boutiques.com will make it into your own personal top five Internets list.

  • Do you spend more per month on computer hardware than you do on clothes?
  • Does your wardrobe consist primarily  of T-shirts from ThinkGeek.com?
  • Does naming various articles of female clothing induce headaches?
  • Are you a dude?

If you answered yes to any of the above, carry on about your business.  There are vast amounts of pr0n yet to be discovered.  If, however, Google can implement this sort of system  for computer gear, power tools, or caffeinated beverages, then I might need to clear some space in my top 5.

P.S.  Google.  For a search company, the search feature on your new toy sucks more than the reviews for Skyline (Can’t search for user names to troll their “Boutiques”?).  Re-caffeinate your staff, and get back to work!S|A

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Dave Morgan